Days 6 and 7

My bed.

That's where I am writing from. It's the only place I want to be. I'm so tired I could cry. Or maybe I'm so emotional I could cry. Or maybe I am so full I could cry. Maybe all three. I'm getting ahead of myself. This is the end of day 7. Let's not taint day 6 with another day's baggage.

Day 6...umm right day 6. Did I have a day 6? Where am I? Oh yeah. I woke up and drank some juice (any one sensing a pattern here?) then packed a bunch of fruit and veggies in an ice chest for the day. I stopped at the hospital to see my dad and then headed out to my friends to lend a hand. I spent a good part of the day pretty active, folding laundry, vacuuming, mopping, dishes, and putting together the bassinet for the baby. Being that active really made me notice how hungry and thirsty I was. I would eat a piece of fruit or some veggies between each activity. My stomach just kept growling. I swear I am more hungry eating and juicing than when I was just juicing. I juiced some lunch- my favorite- apple, pear, and carrot. Rachel even agreed it wasn't half bad. Dinner time rolled around and brace yourselves everybody- I ate. I had a bout a quarter of a baked potato, half a chicken breast and a bunch of green beans. I didn't have to eat meat. I could have stuck to veggies but I was interested in easing myself back into meat. I knew I was going to be having beef soon and didn't want that to be the first meat back into my diet. I made it 5 days just doing fruits and veggies....not bad I guess.

It was weird sitting at the table and eating a meal. It was a delicious. Rachel is a spectacular cook. But I didn't have the same feeling for the food as I was eating it. I guess that is good. No, probably great. They say this fast is supposed to retrain your pallet. I think it is retraining my brain. Breaking my attachment.

For a late night snack on day 6 Rachel had nachos. I had cooked zucchini.

Alright, day 7. I think the word of the day is letdown. No, I take that back. I had a great day. The word of the night is letdown. That is how I feel right now. Letdown. I feel the letdown after a big fun day. I feel the let down of expecting something that didn't happen (I guess babies don't just come because you want them to). I feel letdown by the way people can act. And I feel a little like I let myself down.

This morning I got up and juiced then went for a walk and lifted weights for a little bit. My friend was coming to get me for pedicures at 2 so I made the fastest green juice possible. Necessity really does push you to new heights. I had no idea I could put together the juicer, juice, and take it all apart in 5 mins. I also had no idea I could chug 16 ounces of spinach, apple, orange, carrot juice in 30 seconds. I spent the day shopping with the girls and then we headed to Rachel's baby shower. It just so happened to be at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Now here's the deal, I'm not letdown by the fact that I ate out or that I chose to eat what I ate. It was a calculated and conscious decision. But where I feel like I let myself down is in quantity. I didn't order tons of food- that was a good move- but I also didn't listen to my body- that was a bad move. When the food stopped tasting good I kept eating. When I could feel my stomach getting full I kept eating. I just wanted to clear my plate and move on. It wasn't mindless per say, it was more like I chose not to look at what I was doing. I feel very full and I really don't like that feeling. I wish I would have made a better choice.

So somewhere in there is a juicing life lesson. You know how they say that you shouldn't just sit around and let life happen to you? Well I think food is the same way. Don't just let food happen to you. You could wake up one day and not know how you got to 40 or wake up one day and not know how you got to 400lbs. It's all about the actions- the choices-being alert to what you are doing.

I don't know, I don't think I'm making very much sense tonight. Maybe I had too much beef and not enough juice. Or maybe I just need to go to bed.

Oh yeah, my family told me I was the biggest loser tonight at 12 lbs in 6 days. My sister said she always knew I was the biggest loser in the family. I think I might be offended if I was more alert.