Another one

I throw it up in the air, one
Of those blue and white
Coleman water coolers with
A spout and handle,
Up into the grey sky.
It leaves my hand at a swing
Landing with a pop as
The handle breaks free.

Before, his shorts and
Tank top and sandal feet
Left His leaning
Against the car. I knew
He couldn't stay away
No matter how mad he was.
The Caprice Classic
Light blue station wagon,
The kind with the backwards
Facing third row seat, I saw it
Pulling in from the stands.

Before, there were so many
Loud words exchanged
And tears- I heard,
From under the table
Already ready to go,
A crescendo of anger, 20-some
Unhappy years and finally
An ultimatum. When we return
It would all be different
He said, so She left with me
To see my sister play.

Again, I swing it up after
Putting the handle back on.
Swinging, falling, breaking, fixing...
Again...
        And again...
                          And again...
All the way to the car-
For over forty years now.

One day, when I need it,
No matter how hard I try
The cooler won't stay together
Because that day of the game
The damage was done.

Poem

Plume of the Poet Laureate

I'm filled with hope          and sorrow
Happiness                       and despair
This is life
I am living
So fragile                        and strong
Pain                                and pleasure
A weak kind of headstrong
A headstrong kind of weakness
It could end at any moment but
Still it goes on in
An unbroken line
Up     down     right     left     north     south
Veering but unbroken
This life
I see yesterday
             I breath in today
I envision tomorrow
I smile
          The kind that creeps up
From the middle left of your chest
It rises, warms and curls
I smile                          and I cry
The salty tears mount and blur
Slipping with a blink
                              Sliding down
the rounded curve of my face
I cry                           and I smile
I'm terrified               and ecstatic
Sad                            and happy
I'm alive
            In a classroom
Listening to
                A poem about
Atomic bombs

2 places- 5 minute images

10.  In the gym in Cali when I got the text that he was gone.
A teammates voice on the microphone, smells like sweat and sugary foods, metal chairs shifting, muffled coughs and yawns, teenagers, sun coming in from the double doors to the side of the gym, chaperons talking in the kitchen, a small wooden table with our blue plastic tub sitting on it. Sitting cross legged in my own metal chair, my phone is cold, I used it for my clock, I was bored by the same old stories, there was a text message from a high school friend, a missed call and voicemail from another, it was weird, it had been a long time since I had heard from them, "Have you heard?" or "Did you hear?"  Walking across the shiny wooden floor, through the open double doors to the outer hall, outside to the courtyard.

Cooper in West Seattle
Big sliding door, wood framed twin bed on risers, dresser against the wall, closet in the niche behind my bed, chair next to door, poster "We Love you Alaina" hanging from my wall, books, in a laundry basket overturned next to my bed, white tubs sliding under my bed full of clothes, random music in the background, the elevator working and moving, smells like grease and Chinese food, sometimes chicken, my sisters voice, "Case!", my niece looking through the crack between my door and the wall, bricks, stairs, slanted skylights, green wet hill, cloudy blue sky, water droplets in the windows, tv on a hinge, plants creeping over the side of the leather couch, waking up to sid the science kid , my niece in a bumbo seat on the stainless steal table, food on her tray, avocadoes, tortillas, cottage cheese, no meat.

A second go of it.

Ten Secret Worlds No One Else Has Ever Been

1.In my bed at 4am when I have to get up at 5:30 and I keep checking Facebook and Catholic Match

2.In the back shoe room at Big 5 when the creepy guy who asked me out is shopping

3.On the lawn mower when I had a revelation about who I wanted to be

4.The basement floor after watching Warrior

5. After Mass in West Seattle during the longest 3 months

6. In the bedroom of our tiny cabin pretending to be asleep when 20 people are having a party

7. Around the fire during the Ocean trip

8. Driving home from a bad first date with the long haired Hawaiian

9.In a van with my team and supervisor driving home from Oregon

10. In the gym in Cali when I got the text that he was gone

Places I've Lived For Longer Than A Month

911 in Sunnyside 1-3?

1415 in Sunnyside 3?-18

15808 in Cowiche 18-19, 20-21, 23-24, 25

3515 in Yakima 19-20, 24-25

20th in Yakima 21

66th in Yakima 22-23

Cooper in West Seattle 23

Lincoln Ave In Yakima 26

911 in Yakima 26

+5

+4

+3

+2

+1

26