Days 3 and 4

Yesterday was day 3. Hell day. Well, that is what they say. Everyone was telling us just make it through day 3 and you will be fine. Well it came. I saw. I conquered. It really didn't feel that bad. I was hungry of course. I had some intestinal pain in the morning. But other than that I was good. Juice isn't tasting so bad anymore- the problem is the texture and smell. I don't want to put that in my mouth anymore. I just went extra hungry last night because I didn't want to drink a 4th juice. Last night there was also a little bit of torture. I went to my friends later hoping they would be done with dinner but no... no such luck. They were making these amazing sandwiches with hard salami, pesto, and provolone on special bread. After baking it looked gooey and delicious. I learned a lot about myself while I watched them eat- more on that later. I also learned that pesto is my new favorite smell and that costco cookies smell as good as I remember them tasting. (so do chocolate covered almonds) -PAUSE- THERE IS A MINER BURGER SITTING ON MY TABLE RIGHT NOW, THIS ISN'T EVEN COOL! AHHHH!-

Okay, I am fine.

I didn't poop at all yesterday. That was sad. Today my poop was very colorful but not much of it. Lame. So I had my first unjuiced food today. And no it wasn't the Miner burger. And before you mutiny against this hypocritical blog let me explain. We started out wanting to do ten days because that is what the movie talked about. Then we did some more research and found that ten days isn't right for everyone. The people who did ten days were very unhealthy or combating big health problems. And after taking a self-assessment I found that I should be doing a diet that is mixed with fresh eating too. Part of me really wanted to go the 5 days without any food just because I said I would. I went back and forth in my head about whether that was me wanting to stick to my word or just being proud. I think it is pride. So I ate today. I ate 4 cherry tomatoes, one blackberry, 3 blueberries, and a handful of snap-peas with hummus. And I juiced twice today. I'm hungry of course but I feel just fine. We were supposed to eat dinner some beet dinner thing my brother was gonna make but they cracked and ate miners so I don't know what I'll do.

This morning I drank my breakfast juice and mowed for 5 hours. There were two bad things about mowing. 1) I had to pee all the time which meant stopping and going into the house. 2) The fresh cut grass smelled exactly like the juice we have been drinking tastes. I was mowing along and caught off guard by my past meals...it was not pleasant.

I've lost 9 pounds since Thursday night. That is weird. I feel healthy and peaceful.

Okay so lessons learned or pondered...

Self control is awesome. I love exerting it. It is so important! Everybody should practice it- no really practice it- like make a goal and then force yourself to achieve it. It feels great and prepares you for later in life. I know some people that have struggled to have self control their whole lives and because of that have made a mess of it. Start small and big won't seem so big later on!

Okay I am off my soapbox.

I also learned how mindlessly I eat. Several times last night I had to mentally check myself because I wanted to reach for food without consciously thinking about it. I wanted to pop Cherry tomatoes in my mouth, chew on the piece of salami that Rachel didn't use, and peel off the melted cheese from the tin foil. It was kind of surreal to stop yourself from doing something before you even knew you were gonna do it.

I like to eat and eat and eat until I am stuffed. I don't like moderation much. I counted out the food I ate today because I really wanted to just take the whole bowl of hummus and the bag of peas to the living room and eat until it was gone. When I was little I didn't really understand being full. I used to eat until I was sick. I had no idea that you were supposed to stop before that. I used to eat whole miner burgers and fries and a milkshake at ten- no ten year old girl should be able to do that. I can't believe I didn't weigh 300lbs!

Lastly I recognized a food issue I have. I think I inherited it from my food hoarding father. I was sitting at the table watching my friends eat their delicious sandwiches and found myself thinking stupid thoughts like "They'll never have those sandwiches again, or those cookies. This was my one chance to eat it and I am missing out." Wow. That is a giant lie and really sick thinking. That is how I am though. I am afraid of missing out on something. As a kid of course I wanted to be first in line to eat because I was impatient but also because I was afraid the good stuff would be gone. Even as an adult I want to put lots of something good on my plate in case there is none left for seconds. I never end up finishing what I have. It is a really sick attachment because I have never gone without food. And more than that I live in a country where I can hop in my car and drive a block to any grocery store and get whatever the heck I want anytime I want. Man.

Right now I feel like I am breathing life in deep and slow. I'll eat or I won't. I'll be okay.

Man this juice fast is pretty cool.